“The Reverend Richard Mallow had been less steely than his wife about their sinful daughter but had also been persuaded that she must marry David. At once, said Lorna. As soon as possible.” — Page 49 of An Equal Stillness By Francesca Kay

Why do parents do that?

Why do parents have to force girls in to marriage like that?

Why do parents distance themselves from their responsibility to their children after such ‘Disaster‘?

Why do parents who have not be involved in their children lives get the right to decide what should be done when such ‘Disaster‘ happens?

In the book I am reading, a story from 1924, there was an artist who had everything going on well in her field. Her teachers saw a beautiful future for her in the art world. This young lady had not had the talk yet, so when a young handsome lad approached her and took her virginity; she never told him that she was a virgin nor did he even care to ask. She was embarrassed that at 22 years she was a virgin and was afraid of the stigma.

This same stigma is existent today, all virgins are in hiding and not proud about it. There is no one telling them the value of being virgins. Other than being away to protect against HIV/AIDS, its gives dignity to the bear on that first night.

This is a proud motivating picture from the Obulamu campaign in Uganda

Anyway the artist had more than one sex encounter with her handsome lad and she got pregnant. I know a good doctor who can help us with this, was his first response. In months not so far back he had whispered marriage in her eyes as he pushed himself depth in to, but on this day it was not heard of.  Her parents could not hear her pleads and forced the guy on that her for marriage.

So I ask why do parents feel embarrassed to talk about sex and when we discover it for myself, you punish us for exploring and finding answers you refused to offer us? You blame us for being careless and immoral, yet you never explained to me what this is whole thing was about.

Parents of 1924 are not different from parents of 2015. You both think sex should not be talked about in public. That getting pregnant means getting married. That being pregnant is a shameful thing and society.

Lets get this clear and straight, its your fault as parents that young people are immoral, disrespectful, uncontrollable, sex addicts, alcohol addict, tobacco addicts, and all those bad things that make you hate your child because you failed them. You are to blame for our behavior, our actions.  You failed to nurture us, teach and engage us. You failed to discipline and left us to go away with everything we did wrong or right.

If wells of knowledge and understanding are closed on us because you think we are too young and un-experienced, we will prove you wrong and wrongly.

Patricia Kahill

Patricia Kahill is a multipotentialite Christian entrepreneur, Content Marketing Coach and founder of the Content Marketing agency, Kahill Insights that helps business owners create engaging and interactive content items for digital platforms with a focus on returning a desired outcome. Patricia was the producer of SlamDunk Basketball Talk a show on House of Talent online TV, a former fellow at Harvest Institute for leadership and now an assessor there, and an alumnus of the YELP class of 2017. A member of the BNI Integrity chapter and African Women Entrepreneur Cooperative. She is driven by passion and curiosity, been taking every opportunity that has been given to her with an ambition of stamping her footprint on the world.

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