Tomorrow, 1st July, is my birthday!

Yes, we are still celebrating those in this season. If by celebration you mean mentioning it online and eating cake while drinking some wine, then yeah, we are celebrating this. Patricia Kahill birthday reflections. It looks like the same script for the last 5 years of this celebration, even when this time around I wanted something different. Anyhow, it is what it is.

So, why am I writing about it now before it actually really happens? What if I die at 11:59 hours before 1 July? What if I just collapse after sending this out to the world and never see tomorrow?

On Fear, Faith, and Mortality,

Who cares? If that is how God wills it, then it will be. I have no control really of my life after I surrendered it to Him. I am his puppet He can discard me out of this life anytime He wants it, and I would really not mind. Looking at His big picture, He knows better. I have felt death these past two months. I have heard its footsteps in my neighborhood, in the extended family, and within my friends, and somehow I have grown a thick layer against fearing it.

I have walked through the valley of death, worry for those who are still fighting to stay here, and the uncertainty of what tomorrow holds, and I am grounded. In God, everything happens for His greatness to be seen and His praise to be heard. So, if I drop dead before 1 July or die any other day, I request that you dance and rejoice. Please, no tears; do not break my stopped, beating solid heart with your tears, or it will crack.

Enough about death; even if I fear it not, I shouldn’t allow it to take this morning’s limelight.

Preparation

It is 7:49 am on 30th June 2021. I have been up since 3 am, my awake hour. The hour I launch out at the devil and his systems plus implementers of them. For the last 15 years, I have enjoyed waging war against that system. Imagine fighting in a battle you already won. As a small-time gamer, I have played games, and the anxiety of winning can get to your head as we live in a win-loss world. But, for those who are Christ, we already won the battle with the devil; we play to remind him that it was done. We play to remind ourselves that it is not real but a shadow we have to pass through, as God already made a path through.

Anyway, I was up, and news came in that my niece was coming to this world; she couldn’t wait any longer to celebrate with me. Still, death do us part, so she decided to land today. Heaven delivered, and too loud, she is deafening. The grandparents are super excited, and the older brother can’t keep calm.

Interesting how life is. The balancing scale has to continue to measure up. Life has to die to give life.

A Season of Learning

Talking about life, mine at the moment is for learning. When I say “learning,” I mean it from the depth of its meaning. LEARNING! Acquiring new knowledge, skills, understanding, thoughts, education, and growth. I am learning! Everything and everyone around me is offering a lesson, a mind-blowing thought, a new technique, and a skill to focus on.

Early this year I set myself up and joined a space that emphasizes learning and growth. I don’t regret it, but the truth is, for the person I know I am, I needed to prepare for this instead of falling in headfirst and then improvising as I land.

Harvest Institute’s School of Leadership has stretched me to limits I didn’t know I had in me. The Law of the rubber band by John Maxwell in his book Irrefutable Laws of Leadership is evident in me. I have grown muscles in my brain, which was soft tissue; my thinking and view on things, leadership, and all that it encompasses have been upgraded.

If it was a software update for a Windows system, I am on Windows 10, version 20H2, from Windows 5. I promise you will see results soon, as I am just halfway through the course. If you are a class reading this, well done! You are the real deal, sticking around for this long. For accessors and facilitators, the furnace is really hot, but I am wood that won’t burn out if God is on my side. Add more fuel; let’s burn as we enjoy this knowledge heist.

Party time!

Anyway, back to tomorrow being my birthday and the things I am looking forward to. To some people, birthday periods might be a difficult time to get them in order. But for me, it is the easiest time to get me to think deeply about what needs to be done. The things that need to change are evaluating and focusing on what I’m trying to get in life and going after it.

It is that time when I would have loved to go and party but end up at the feet of Jesus, laying a foundation for the new age. For tomorrow I am ending a chapter and starting on a new one, leaving a room and entering a new one. For this whole week, I have been asking God to remove everything and everyone who will block me from my blessings and reaching my goals and add those who are destined to move with me.

I will be 35 tomorrow, and I’m ready for that change in myself. The end of ’34 has laid a good foundation for me, and I am taking it on with every play I have in me. Setting life strategies and goals for the next 5 years is the objective. Long life has to be lived, but only if I plan for it now. Now I need to put in a little more work so I can play harder.

My 10 wishes for 35:

• The continuation of your ‘look young for that age.’ I am forever 24 years old, so please let us leave it at that
• Enjoying being myself fully on my own terms
• Forgiving myself for the past stupid choices
• Change my whole wardrobe—Asian, mainly Chinese and Korean street style, here I come.
• Pushing myself more than anyone will because, at this age, mum is no longer holding that cane of hers for me to do things
• Finishing my Korean language lessons and start writing and reading in the language
• Having meal and exercise plans. I should practice this more than I have been doing
• Work my revenue streams to independence from me; I need some real rest from the hustle
• Whatever happened to travel adventures should know it’s time to pack up and leave
• Solidify my relationships. In my introverted ways, lockdown, and covid-19, I will need to do more than before for my people.

So help me God.

I have written a lot, which I am not sure is necessary, but I am not yet born, so you can excuse me. Hope you enjoyed it and are willing to hold me accountable for the things I have written here.