In 2015, my heart started bleeding for the boychild and men because what I was seeing around was not good at all. As the heads of families, men were failing and there were more initiatives towards women who were their helpers and none for the ones in the driver’s seat.
I cried out to God and said please help us, we are losing our future as the leaders are failing to do what is required of them and thus women are taking up the positions which were never meant to be theirs.
Seven years later I have witnessed God’s responses to my prayer. He has lifted men to take on the mantle to help other men boldly take on their God-ordained position as heads. From the Boys’ mentorship programs happening in different places to men’s talks coming in churches and works places. And are attending them with so much desire and zeal.
Today, Worship Harvest Ministries gathered men between 20 – 50 years at the church’s main headquarters in Naalya. The Man Talk is an initiative by Apostle Moses Mukisa to bring men together and talk about prominent men-related issues that are being ignored.
Men are struggling with many issues that even if we women see them and think we can help them, only men can help themselves. From pornography to alcohol and drug abuse, to self-doubt and low self-esteem, peer pressure, identity crisis issues, and many other things that only men know very well.
Then there is a timing issue. When men miss the timing and season of their lives to do things they are meant to do and hence tend to run away from the realities of their lives. According to Apostle Moses Mukisa, there are stages of a man’s life, things men should be doing at the different stages of life, these include
- Preparation for take-off – the process of getting ready which is around 0-20 years where things are taught, and all necessary things to take off are done.
- Take off – you must have a runaway and again a certain speed. This is around 20-30 years. Here one is on a high speed. They are doing things at an acceleration speed, like getting married. A 20-year-old man qualifies to fight in a war and feed his family Numbers 1:1-3.
Also, this is the time for the establishment, the time to lift heavy things, time for spiritual enlightenment.
- Lift/Climb – this is between 30-40, the climb phrase. You are gaining attitude and have desired to be something. And you start pondering that chosen career path. This is where you are doing all the important work of your life. This is the building time, the sacrifice times. The time to understand what one can handle.
Marriage requires a certain level of stupidity. Marry early when you are still controlled by emotions. It is a wise thing to marry in your twenties. – Ap. Moses
- Cruise – this is deceptive though. But here are having maximum results and systemic results. This is the 40-50 years level. This only happens if you used the 30-40 climb stage well. This is when you are handling teenagers and thinking about university education for your children. Here are using minimum fuel and maximum speed. This is your eating stage when life is really happening.
- Prepare to Land – 50-60 is when you prepare to rest. This is the stage of just being and preparing where you are to land. This is the descending stage.
- Landing – 70+ Rest years.
Men need a covering of other men to stay on the cross and be accountable so that they don’t stray away from the ways they are desiring and want to be. Men grow by being mentored by fellow men, but it depends on which kind of men they are. Bad men produce bad men around them and good men the same.
Mentorship, coaching, and training spaces groom men to live a fulfilled life. A life that matters and of great substance and purpose. These men initiatives are coming up to equip men to warm my heart and build my confidence in God and the men coming from them.
Spaces like these prepare men for the future and their roles as men in society. They equip men to be the best they are supposed to be for their families and communities plus themselves.
These stages in life are, for educational purposes very sound but in real life they need not to be placed within time frames. That alone creates pressure upon men to deliver at specific times just because someone says so. Without a time frame, men will be comfortable in knowing that they can still be effective in life. If you put them in a boxed time frame, this is why we find men these days stressed and worried that they haven’t achieved and it becomes a cause of concern. No one knows the time, let them rule and conquer at their time, just like how Prince Charles has become King, even at his age!
Question, how far with ‘knowing that they can still be effective in life’ without these stages?
Do you know that lack of intentionality towards these stages and working towards them has led many men to miss out on achieving more in their lives?
Hehe, Prince Charles who has been all his life being groomed to be king… who is grooming the men here?
You can’t live without a plan or purpose, no matter how comfortable you are.
Take note, I said for educational purposes they sound good. There are good infact and every man should look at them and ask were they are? The problem lies when they look at their age and assume they have to be at a certain place as directed by the graphic you shared with us. To say, I am 40 so I have to be doing ABCD. That is where I believe men should shy away from because it exerts pressures that will get them nowhere. Rather, one must say to himself, of these stages this is where I am and I must now work towards the next stage, without giving himself a time frame because life is not all the same and opportunities are handed to us on different times.
Using the Prince Charles example, although being groomed his entire life to be King, he would have never known if he was going to be one. For all we know he could have gone first before the Queen considering his age.